Living in an Perfectly Hypocritical World

Do you believe what I'm saying now or what I said 8 years ago?

If only Cheney had looked sorrowfully into the camera and said, "it's a private matter between Hillary... I mean, Harry and me. I have certainly caused pain in my marri... errrr... friendship with Hilla.... ahhh... Harry. But if Harry has forgiven me, I think the country should just move on. This is not a public matter. It's a matter between me and Hill...(cough) arry, that is.

You know, Brit, every time a President has sex with an intern in the Oval Office or a VP shoots his friend, I think the public realizes that these are purely private matters."

I realize that there isn't perfect symmetry here. Cheney's shooting incident did not disgrace the office he holds and was likely more akin to putting Gerald Ford behind the wheel of a golf cart. And ... at least not yet... Cheney hasn't committed perjury in an attempt to hide his private act.

But the reaction of the left and right is perfectly hypocritical. Republicans, who rightly saw Clinton's disgraceful indulgence with a government employee as a public act, couldn't run to a microphone fast enough to declare disingenously that the Vice President's actions were "private".

Not to be outmaneuvered in the Beltway parlor game of Hypocrisy, former Clinton apologists (the most hypocritical of all being Lady Hillary) stepped to the podium and declared dismay at the Vice President's failure to make this matter public. (In fact, he did... just in an amateurish fashion, which rightly drew criticism).

To their credit, these same Republicans and Democrats gathered on the Capitol steps on Thursday to sing A Day at the Fair's "Who You Guna Believe, Me or Your Lying Eyes".

Sunday Shorts

For the record...

* I will be rooting and voting for Taylor Hicks to win this year's American Idol. He appears humble, possesses a unique voice and stage presence (he is a cross between Ray Charles and a man with cerebral palsy), and plays a harmonica.

* I will also be rooting for Chris Daughtry, David Radford, and Becky O'Donohue (even though I do not really remember if she can sing)

* But I think Katharine McPhee will win.

* With apologies to Arrested Development fans, NBC's The Office is the best sitcom since the sixth season of Seinfeld.

* I know no one who admits to watching the Olympics (it reminds me of the days of yore when Golden Girls was a top 10 show and no one watched it).

* Given the ratings this year, maybe no one is.

* If the ratings continue to disappoint, don't be surprised if "stock car racing" becomes a Winter Olympics sport in 2010. That may seem laughable, but I'm sure racing enthusiasts would tell you that Stanley Park is perfectly shaped for just such an event. There is the problem of joggers, rollerbladers, and bikers, but if the Canadians sent in Dick Cheney as part of the advance team, I am certain that the park would be all clear for racing.

* When my 86 year-old, FDR Democrat grandmother agrees with my tax positions (-a-inheritance/death tax = 0% regardless of income if received from your parents, aunts and uncles, kids, grandparents, or great grandparents... otherwise a 20% tax on the first dollar you receive; -b- social security tax should be applied beyond to wages beyond $90,000... I don't buy the argument that people stop receiving the benefit of social security beyond that amount because that same argument can be used for income taxes... or do you really believe that Alex Rodriguez receives $25 million in government services each year? This would allow us to increase funding for social security while lowering the tax on everyone; and -c- income taxes -- should be tied to federal spending), I'm torn between thinking they are good ideas or I've lost my mind.

* I'm leaning toward "good ideas" ... but what else would a crazy man think.