The Infamous Otto

Election Reflection

Thanks, Chad, for the daily reminder of how much fun this was when it had no name, and to whom I say, as I'm sure Wendy would agree, Steelers by 4!

As I was saying...

Oh, those exit polls.

No, not the ones conducted on Election Day by Dan Rather's 6o Minutes researchers. I mean the more meaningful ones that tell us that maybe Babs is leaving and Alec too. And while Mr. Smith went to Washington, Mr. Redford may be heading to Ireland. So many Hollywood liberals, so few who seem to want to stay and fight.

It's not just Hollywood now. Maura, Tim, and Karen, diehard Bush-haters, which is to say "tepid Kerry supporters", moaned at work and on the radio and in a shopping mall that they may flee to Canada, the UK, or possibly France (though not Mexico... it has too many [embarrassed whisper] Mexicans, oddly enough). With Burberry scarves adorning their necks and Prada bags at their sides, they say their tearful good-byes... on their self-aggrandizing web sites.

Leave now, they must. Religious fanatics have re-elected a Christian.

So why is it when the devil incarnate (this is said in jest... well, sort of) won a plurality in 1992 and again in 1996 or before this election (presuming a Kerry victory), you heard nary a conservative or a Republican express his intention to expatriate himself?

While a more thoughtful investigation may wrangle with considerations of petulance and hauteur, in an effort to "begin the healing", I offer these possibilities (or perhaps, more apropos, exaggerations):

1) While conservatives have no problem outsourcing American jobs to India, we ourselves would certainly never want to go there.

2) Fleeing to Canada would require taking our homes off of cinder blocks.

3) Only Aleksander Kwasniewski has offered to take us in.

4) When asked what Ennui is, our best guess would be "a name some poor black woman had given her child."

5) There isn't a Spanish word for "NASCAR".

6) Iraq is the only country that will let us bring our guns.

7) David Hasselhoff is big in Germany. Enough said.

8) We make WAY TOO MUCH $$$ here, so we'd be stupid to leave.

If it's not that, then maybe we are all just waiting for Lee Greenwood to sing us a new song and show us the way.

- Blizz